I Messed Up

(I wrote this one a little over a year ago and thought it would be good to post.)

Sometimes I tend to spiral downward into a self capitulated, depressive mindset due to the mistakes I have committed in my past. I then run from the reality that I mistakenly or inadvertently created, not wanting others to view me in light of my errors. True, not everyone possesses the Godly love for me that would enable them to ride with me through my mistakes. However, for those who are such a friend, I hold close and cherish them as a loving mother would her new born babe. We all mess up, and we will mess up in the future. Not confronting, admitting, repenting, and learning from these mishaps will cause us to only fool ourselves and unavoidably make the same devastative errors, as we witness relational bonds with loved ones disintegrate and our since of purpose for life fade. No longer should we hide our mishaps but confess the mess that we truly are. I have messed up more times than I can count. In attempts to help, I have caused hurt. I don't have to hide that, but I must learn from it. Christ has covered me, stayed with me, and helped me when all others have forsaken me. Therefore I continue on, with the boldness and faith to know that some day I will make it to my promise land.

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

This skit is so powerfully presented that I don’t want to take away from it by adding my words. Make sure you watch all of it to understand it fully. The most significant part, in my opinion, is when the young woman’s shirt changes. Watch that closely and tell me what you think. Enjoy.

A River Made by Me

The cycle runs deep, as I reflect on things from my past. Emotionally confused and frustrated with my humanity, it appears that I have robed people of their dignity; not deliberately, I'm just trying to find me. Unable to give them what they want and quench their heart’s desire, tears seem to have built over the years to the point where they now have formed a river in front of me that is impeding me from getting to...me. As I look on the other side of the river I can see who I should be and who I long to be but the river impedes me. I see me but I’m separated from who I am and who I long to be by a river made by me. I would try to swim but the currents may overtake me, burying me deep under the river that was made by me. I would try to go around but the continuous flow is endless and I would grow weary, and fatigued, expiring from exhaustion in a failed attempt to get around the river made by me. So, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit I started to construct a bridge, with the help of some friends. I will work day and night until at last it is complete and I am able to cross over the river made by me, to be with…me.